In order for individuals to connect, communicate and fully participate in close relationships, it is important to have a ‘theory-of-mind’ (ToM). The term ‘theory-of-mind’ refers to the ability to assign mental states, such as beliefs, desires, intentions, imagination and emotions, to the self and other people in order to account for, and predict, their behaviour (Baron-Cohen, 1997). Theory-of-mind inadequacies are often referred to as ‘mind-blindness’ (Baron-Cohen, 1997). Research has found that one of the characteristic features of all of the autism spectrum conditions is ToM limitations. Baron-Cohen describes this as “the ability to put oneself into someone else’s shoes, to imagine their thoughts and feelings”, without which is termed ‘mind-blindness’. Evidence shows that for both typical and atypical individuals, development of ToM skills are multifaceted, and are neither uniform nor unidirectional. There is still much that is not known, but there is evidence that ToM skills both transform, and are transformed, by interpersonal and family relationships, and by interaction with others (Leekam, Libby, Wing, Gould, & Gillberg, 2000).
Understanding one’s own and others’ minds are essential components to understanding the social world. Social understanding, behavioural prediction, social interaction, and communication are all based on this ability to imagine or represent states of mind that we ourselves, or others, might hold (Assaf et al., 2013). The main view in developmental literature is that an apparent inability of individuals with autism to think about thought contributes to their difficulties with social interaction, communication and imagination. Not knowing the mind of others, and as a consequence, not recognising or understanding other’s actions, can make reacting appropriately to them difficult. Without this comprehension an individual with autism might be more predisposed to become remote, or alternatively, become dependent on others to do that work for them.
Research investigates the development of children’s ToM in order to understand the formation of social relationships. From when a child is small, ToM matures in a series of constant successive stages of discovery, each of which is developmentally associated to the next. The cognitive processes essential to the development of a ToM begins first with an immature understanding of human action, one of only desires, which comes before the attainment of a fully developed ToM. A young child usually knows what their own desires are. However, to make sense of other people and their thoughts and desires, it is necessary to mature beyond our own self-centred desires. To do this it is important to understand that a desire is linked to a belief. Desires motivate behaviour but belief puts behaviour into a context. For example, an essential component to understand others’ inner processes, requires the understanding that if an individual goes to buy a particular item, then that individual desires that particular item and also believes the particular item can be obtained from the particular shop which the individual decides to go to. This simple explanation of internal processes describes internal factors that are quite complex as described by (Wellman & Woolley, 1990):
These factors – beliefs and desires – intertwine and interpenetrate. Along with constructs such as feelings and emotions, perception and intention, they form a coherent explanatory system for human action (Wellman & Woolley, 1990 p. 246).
As a child matures, the later construct of belief-desire psychology changes the young child’s naïve psychology, providing the child with a broader understanding that other people have a belief and desire system different to their own. Comprehension is gained from one’s own internal desire states, along with, other’s internal desire states. This operates together with understanding that two people with the same desires can still engage in different actions and have different emotional reactions to the same outcome because they have different beliefs. These mental states of beliefs and desires play a causal role in understanding human action. In other words, making the connection that what people think and believe, as well as what they desire, crucially affects how they behave. As a mature understanding of actions in terms of beliefs and desires is fundamental to understanding people in order to socially interact, social interaction can be quite puzzling and problematic for individuals who lack this awareness. The attainment of a successful healthy relationship requires this ‘mind-reading’ reciprocal ability; the give and take that should occur within any close relationship. Given that most of communication and interpersonal relating is nonverbal in nature, mind-blindness impedes the reading of nonverbal cues. For those who have difficulties with their ToM, the majority of communication may go undetected, triggering confusion and frustration, and setting the scene to become disconnected or become over reliant on significant others.
On the other hand, research suggests that typically developing children do not have to theorize that there are minds, as they can immediately experience other people’s intentions and feelings within their affective, co-regulated interactions with them. When possessing an intact ToM, it provides an implicit social ‘know-how’ that allows the ability to negotiate the mental domain and which makes possible that instinctive know-how of how to react in any given situation. Theory-of-mind impairment prevents that implicit social ‘know-how’, which makes social interactions incredibly challenging. Without an intact ToM, the potential for conflict becomes more likely, with detachment or else dependency on others to explain and instruct how to negotiate the social nuances of human interaction, also more likely.
In healthy relationships, negotiating understanding through moments of confusion and frustration can be overcome by mutual respect and support. This involves accepting one’s partner and/or family member and their differences with respect for each partner’s/family member’s right to have her/his own feelings and opinions, even if different from one’s own. When an individual, through ToM inadequacies, does not recognise that another person has their own different feelings, desires, beliefs and opinions, and also has a right to those differences, it can challenge their ability to accept or respect those differences. If an individual cannot comprehend the interior life of another, connection with another becomes very difficult. Additionally, it has the potential to bring resistance to understand another’s behaviour. Relationship inequality may often result, which may conceivably limit the ability to share and coordinate experiences and truly participate in a well-adjusted reciprocal relationship. However, reciprocity is an integral part of communicating, connecting and loving. This is especially true of neurotypical individuals since the interior life of neurotypical individuals consists of how he or she views him or herself in relationship to another. Research confirms that an individual with autism has a much more difficult time knowing him or herself in relationship to another due to ToM deficiencies and other social and communicative difficulties. When one partner/family member lacks an intact ToM, it has the potential to challenge the capabilities of each partner/family member to handle situations, and possibly increase conflict between them.
Dr Bronwyn Wilson
References
Assaf, M., Hyatt, C. J., Wong, C. G., Johnson, M. R., Schultz, R. T., Hendler, T., & Pearlson, G. D. (2013). Mentalizing and motivation neural function during social interactions in autism spectrum disorders. NeuroImage. Clinical, 3, 321-331. doi:10.1016/j.nicl.2013.09.005
Baron-Cohen, S. (1997). Mindblindness. An essay on autism and theory of mind. London: The MIT Press.
Leekam, S., Libby, S., Wing, L., Gould, J., & Gillberg, C. (2000). Comparison of ICD-10 and Gillberg’s criteria for Asperger syndrome. Autism, 4(1), 11-28.
Wellman, H. M., & Woolley, J. D. (1990). From simple desires to ordinary beliefs: The early development of everyday psychology. Cognition, 35, 245-275. doi:0010-0277/90/$9.80